Top Ten Teacher Comments That Would Have Made Progress Reports Awkward


10. “His hygiene habits are infamous.”

9.5. “I recommend: Uber driver.”

9.2. “Your check bounced.”

9. “I’m not sure she knows what my name is.”

8. “Her laughter is infectious, like Ebola.”

7. “I’ve never seen such creative cursing in an English paper.”

6.5. “I don’t think this student is in my class.”

6.1. “PROM?”

6. “Have you considered surgery?”

5.5. “I’ve never given a ‘J’ before.”

4.6. “He smells nice.”

4.2. “The voices in his head are disruptive… but intriguing.”

4. “[Student name] is a great addition to our class.”

3.2. “I don’t know if those stains in the carpeting will ever come out.”

2. “I swiped right.”

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About the author

Sheldon has been writing for The Match since 2007. He is a perpetual senior, coming close to graduating a few times. In his free time, he enjoys watersports, such as chess and calculus.