April Fools Headlines

  • Trump Decides to Stop Campaign
    • Turns out it was all one giant April Fool’s Joke (if only…)
  • Mr. Wedge Named Hillary’s VP
  • Ben Rein Returns As Head of… Lettuce
  • It’s Actually Dr. Ross’s Birthday
  • Chicken Only A Little Tender
    • Portobello Salad Only Moderately Jazzy
  • Vegetarians Offered Annual Hot Meal in McFall
  • Don’t Forget to Register for AP Prom
  • Leaked Video Camera Footage From Octagon Study Rooms Being Reviewed
  • Oates Theater To Install Kiss-Cam
  • Wilson/Ciara To Wed in Centennial Hall
    • Look for invitations on Schoology
  • Brad Cooke Leaving Collegiate To Start His Own Religion
  • Sra. Soria-Nieto Joins Presidential Race
  • Brunch Now To Feature Food
  • New Dress Code Bans Adam’s Apples
    • All boys required to wear turtlenecks or scarves.
    • Seahawks turtlenecks can be purchased at the Cougar Shop for $99.99.
  • Russell Wilson Caught With Shirt Untucked
    • Diploma has been revoked.
  • The Cough Is Back
  • Twin Madness: Fill Out Your Twins Bracket
    • Gaffney vs. Harris
    • White vs. Murphy
    • Hunter vs. Roupas
    • Carr vs. Klein
    • Pettus vs. Alexander

About the author

Sheldon has been writing for The Match since 2007. He is a perpetual senior, coming close to graduating a few times. In his free time, he enjoys watersports, such as chess and calculus.