By Malcolm Pace

Pizza: the universal source of satisfaction for one’s hunger. However, is all pizza the same? The clear, unequivocal answer is NO. 

In fact, even cities and states alike can be ranked differently based on different styles of pizza that are local to a certain region or difference in quality. For example, Chicago’s signature style is deep-dish pizza versus New York City’s distinctive style. 

Dave Portnoy reviewing pizzas. Photo credit: One Bite Pizza Reviews via Youtube.

Dave Portnoy, founder and owner of Barstool Sports, a sports media company, is one of the world’s most devoted pizza fans and has reviewed over 1,000 different slices from all across the country. His reviews originated from a debate in which Portnoy said that if he could only eat one food for the rest of his life, it would be pizza. The reviews caught on quickly after he proved his point by only eating pizza for a month, reviewing each one along the way.

Portnoy only reviews cheese pizzas and ranks these slices on a harsh, strict scale, and he makes it very clear that it is almost impossible for a pizza to score a 10. Per his logic, a 10 would be the best slice of pizza ever, and if you have another slice that is better, then you have no place to rank it on your scale. This leads to the best pizzas being ranked by Portnoy in the range of 9.0 to 9.5, a very rare occasion, and the majority of pizzas ranging between 5.0 and 8.0. This strategy has proven to be effective, as it is clear which pizzas outrank the others, and the slim possibility of a 10, the Holy Grail, the best possible slice, creates an objective point of reference for the scores under it. 

Throughout Portnoy’s hundreds of reviews, his scale has become so well-known and respected among his fans that he has created his own pizza app, One Bite. On this app, users can post their scores of pizza, all of which follow Portnoy’s rigorous scale and can be viewed on a map of your region. 

My goal, like Portnoy’s, was to find the best pizza available to me, I began my pizza review career with three spots: Christian’s Pizza, Superstars Pizza and Subs, and Mary Angela’s Pizzeria.

First, I journeyed to Christian’s Pizza, a limited chain located in the Village Shopping Center at Three Chopt Road and Patterson Avenue. Although the interior was relatively empty, the kitchen was bustling with activity as employees prepared orders for delivery. After a quick five-minute wait, I received my slice of cheese pizza and made my pizza review debut. 

A very noticeable characteristic of Christian’s is the lack of “flop,” another Portnoyism, meaning that the pizza has a strong undercarriage that prevents the end of the slice from leaning over. However, after the initial success of the Christian’s slice passing the flop test, the quality of the slice went downhill. While the slice was fresh and hot, the cheese on top had taken on a congealed state, not the desired, fresh, melted cheese that I was hoping for. The ratio of sauce to cheese was tolerable; however, the texture and quality of the cheese took over the flavor, outweighing the positives of the strong undercarriage and well-baked dough. The crust, similar to the undercarriage, was baked well and was definitely of higher quality than the cheese, yet the negatives were too plentiful to elevate this slice above others in the West End, leaving it with a ranking of 5.9.

Image credit: Superstars Pizza.

Next, I traveled just down the road from Christian’s to Superstars Pizza and Subs, and while their specialty slices are what have made Superstars’ name in the pizza business, I ordered a slice of cheese to truly rank them in comparison to the other places in the area. This slice was very simple on the exterior, with a lighter-colored crust and undercarriage, with fresh, melty cheese on top. After an initial impression of a bare, simple slice of pizza, I was pleasantly surprised by my first taste. The taste was a unique one for a plain slice of cheese pizza. There was a strong flavor created by the oregano and basil that had been perfectly sprinkled across the top of the slice. Paired with the soft, chewy dough, and melted, greasy cheese, the almost tangy flavor combined perfectly with the other characteristics of the slice to produce an incredible taste. The crust was slightly undercooked and a little bit too chewy to fully bring the slice together. But the great combination of tastes, combined with a solid ratio of sauce to high-quality, melted cheese, far outweighed the subpar crust, resulting in a final score of 7.2.

Mary Angela’s cheese pizza. Photo credit: Malcolm Pace.

Finally, I made my way down Cary Street to Mary Angela’s, which resides right on the edge of Carytown. Immediately, I was impressed with the appearance of the slice. The cheese was melted, but it was distributed so evenly across the slice that you could see hints of red sauce poking through. There was minimal flop, and the undercarriage and crust were baked to perfection, with dark brown coloration and some flour adding a white haze on the bottom. The sauce-to-cheese ratio was perfect, and the flavor, though simple, was precisely what you are looking for in a slice of pizza. From the dough to the cheese, to the pure tomato sauce, Mary Angela’s produces a fresh, authentic slice that I highly recommend. It clocks in with a final score of 8.3, one of the best slices you will find in Richmond.