By Maddy Privasky

I grew up knowing my grandmother, but not her full story. To me, she was simply “Grandma,” someone steady, practical, and always certain of her opinions. It was not until much later, when I finally sat down and asked her about her life, that I realized how little I actually knew. The things she described as ordinary, like her childhood, her career, and the risks she took, sounded anything but normal to me. What I discovered was a life shaped by resilience, sacrifice, and moments that felt almost like miracles.

My grandmother’s story begins in a small village in Poland, in a house without running water or electricity. Life was simple, but it taught her perseverance. At the time, a future that included advanced degrees, a career in engineering, and a life in the United States would have seemed almost unimaginable. Yet over the course of her life, my grandmother would cross continents, break barriers in a male-dominated profession, and build a family through sheer determination. 

Born Maria Cecilia Lew, my maternal grandmother was raised in the city of Dębica, Poland, in 1952, in a household that had few modern conveniences. Children were expected to help with the farm, and daily tasks required effort. “We were not restricted by rules about where we would go,” she said. “Every neighbor looked after the children. It was a completely different way of growing up than how I later raised my own children, and how you are raised now.” Despite these conditions, Maria does not describe her childhood as difficult. In fact, she recounted that at the time, it felt normal. “We did not know any different,” she explained. Her childhood was also filled with joy. She remembers summers spent swimming in the Wisłoka River and winters filled with heavy snow, perfect for skiing. Education, however, became the path that would eventually change everything. 

Money was limited, and attending university was far from guaranteed. Maria grew up as the fourth of five siblings, and higher education was not something her family had previously experienced. Still, she worked hard in school and graduated, determined to continue her studies. She became the first of her siblings to attend the Higher Pedagogical School in Rzeszów, choosing to study physics and chemistry. Maria excelled in mathematics, which led her to follow a curriculum focused on math, physics, and chemistry. “I enjoyed these subjects,” she said, “and felt they made the most sense for the path I wanted to take.” Paying for school was difficult, especially during her first semester. However, her strong academic performance earned her a scholarship that covered her books and eased the financial burden on her family.

Maria’s graduation picture.

After her second year of university, Maria made a bold decision, one shaped by the political reality of growing up in communist Poland. 

At the time, in the midst of the Cold War, Poland was ruled by a communist government, part of the Eastern Bloc and the Soviet sphere of influence that controlled much of Eastern Europe after World War II. By the 1970s and 1980s, economic struggles and political tensions were growing. The Solidarity Movement in the 1980s would eventually challenge the government before the fall of communism in 1989. However, during the years Maria was a student, loyalty to the system was still expected.

All university students had to attend a three-week indoctrination camp after completing their first year of schooling. The government designed the program to teach communist ideology and test students’ allegiance to the system. Attendance was mandatory, and those who refused risked being denied graduation unless they demonstrated their support.

Maria accidentally arrived at the train station a day early for the camp. When she got there, she realized there was nowhere for her to stay that night. With no place to go, she had to get back on the train and return to Dębica. 

By the time she arrived, it was around midnight. While getting off the train, she had twisted her ankle. She painfully made her way to her brother John’s office in the center of town, knowing he was working a night shift as an electrician for a power supply company. “I didn’t know what else to do,” she said. She knocked on the door, but no one answered. Standing outside in the middle of the night, she began calling out for him until he finally appeared at the window and saw her there. John took her home on his motorcycle, but by the next day, her ankle had swollen so badly that there was no way she could go back to the camp. 

Instead, Maria returned to school and explained that she had been injured. The school told her she would have to attend the camp the next year. Looking back, Maria believes that moment may have been “divine intervention,” as attending the camp would have likely led to her becoming an official member of the Polish Communist Party. 

The following year, after finishing another semester, she went to the American consulate to apply for a visa. The officer asked whether she was a member of the Communist Party. “I told him no,” Maria said, “and that answer proved to be critical.” On July 14, 1973, at just 18 years old, Maria left Poland for the United States.

She did not leave with the intention of starting a new life here, at least not at first. She arrived on a student visa, planning to continue her education and spend time with her extended family. Before arriving in the United States, she had not yet been accepted to a university. Instead, she came with the support of a sponsor, her Uncle Joe, her Aunt Josephine’s husband, who signed documents agreeing to support her if needed. There was no long-term plan to remain in America permanently. Like many young people leaving home for the first time, she saw the trip as an opportunity, not a final departure. She said, “I didn’t think I was leaving forever. I thought I would eventually come back.” Maria certainly had no clear sense yet that this decision would reshape the course of her life. 

When she first arrived in the United States, Maria went to a small farm in Howell, New Jersey, to live with Josephine, who had immigrated about 15 years earlier after marrying Joe, an American citizen. There, Maria worked for about three months in Freehold, New Jersey, at the Peerless Tube Company, manufacturing tubes for cosmetics, makeup, and toothpaste. During the holidays, she traveled to Detroit, Michigan, to visit her other aunt, Helen, who had come to the United States in 1947 and owned a wedding dress boutique. Maria initially planned to stay only a few nights, but her cousin Mary invited her to live with her permanently. Maria mentioned, “I saw more opportunity there.” Maria decided to remain in Michigan rather than return to New Jersey.

Growing up, Maria had learned how to sew and became a skilled seamstress, which allowed her to start working at her aunt’s wedding boutique. She quickly realized that she had more opportunities in Michigan than she did in New Jersey, both professionally and personally.

In 1973, Mary hosted a party at her apartment between Christmas and New Year’s. She asked Maria to help out with the party. That night would change everything. 

While carrying a tray, Maria dropped something, and a man nearby picked it up for her. She thanked him. Maria remembers, “Something told me he was going to be my future husband.” And that man was William Staab, my grandfather.

Maria and Bill at their wedding in 1974.

William was a mechanical engineer at General Motors. After ten years, he continued his career at Ford Motor Company. When he met Maria, he had been temporarily laid off from work from December to May, which gave him the time to show her around the city of Detroit. Their relationship quickly blossomed. William went to the bridal shop almost every day, and they would leave together after Maria finished her work. After just four months of dating, on April 20, 1974, they began their life as a married couple.

After marrying William, Maria’s immigration status changed to permanent resident, and she no longer needed a sponsor. Instead, her focus shifted entirely to continuing her education. William returned to work for Ford in May, and meanwhile, Maria enrolled in summer English classes to strengthen her language skills. To enroll at Wayne State University, she had to pass the entrance requirements, including passing the TOEFL English proficiency exam and providing transcripts from her coursework in Poland. Learning a new language was not easy, and the TOEFL became one of her greatest obstacles.

When she sat down to take the test, three essay prompts appeared on the paper in front of her. In that moment, she realized she was not fully prepared to answer them the way the exam required. “I had two options,” she recalled. “I could walk out of the room as a failure, or I could do what I could instead of giving up.” Rather than leaving, she decided to try. 

Instead of answering the prompts exactly as expected, she wrote an essay about where she was born and her childhood in Poland, closer to an autobiography than what the exam required. Two weeks later, she received unexpected news; she had been accepted to Wayne State in Detroit and was placed directly into her third year of study. The moment that could have sent her to English school for a year instead became another turning point in her life. What began as a dream in rural Poland was slowly becoming a reality. 

During her first semester in college, she was introduced to a cooperative education program that rotated between school and professional work. Before Christmas, she was offered an engineering position with Ford Motor Company. From that point on, she alternated semesters between working and studying. 

Maria and the men in her engineering department at Ford Motor Company.

At the time, engineering departments at Ford were overwhelmingly male. She was the only woman in the design department of about 60 engineers. Maria noted, “I was the only woman in the room, and I learned quickly that I had to be assertive and speak up for myself.” Instead of feeling intimidated, she approached the challenge with strength.

Her first assignment involved investigating a technical problem with corroding rivets used in vehicle production. The company needed to understand why the corrosion was happening and how it could be prevented. Through careful analysis and testing, she successfully identified the cause and helped develop solutions. 

The success of that project established her reputation within the department. In 1977, she earned her bachelor’s degree in chemical engineering. Later, she continued her studies while building her career, earning a master’s degree in civil engineering in 1994 and a PhD in civil and environmental engineering in 1999.

Over the next three decades, she built what she describes as her dream career. During her time at Ford, she held around 20 roles, eventually becoming a project manager and managing projects within the company’s Research and Engineering Center. Her career reflected not only technical skill but also persistence in a field where women were still breaking barriers.

Maria working at the office at Ford.

As her professional and personal life became more established in the United States, Maria took the next step in her journey. After living in the country as a permanent resident for several years, she became a naturalized citizen on March 26, 1979. This process required her to wait five years as a permanent resident, study American history, and pass a citizenship exam.

While their professional lives flourished, my grandparents faced challenges in their personal lives. They had always hoped to have children. When William was 26, he had a severe skiing accident that resulted in a broken leg between the knee and ankle, requiring seven screws to hold the bones together. Years later, when he began having difficulty walking, doctors initially believed it was due to a lack of physical therapy after the accident. However, he showed little improvement over time, and the cause of his symptoms remained unclear. Despite the uncertainty of his health, they still wanted to become parents. 

Eventually, Maria and William decided to pursue adoption. In the early 1980’s, the adoption process was complex and uncertain. Due to the strict requirements, they decided to delay further medical testing for William until the adoption process was complete, knowing that a serious diagnosis could jeopardize their chances of being approved. Their search led them back to Poland, where they began navigating the complicated process of adopting a child from another country. Many biological parents were reluctant to formally release their children for adoption, making the process even more challenging. 

Then an unexpected opportunity appeared. A friend of Maria’s sister, Krzysztof Bartus, knew of a baby boy who had been left in Szpitala ZOZ w Dębica, a hospital in Dębica, Poland, and had remained there for an extended period of time. My grandparents began the process of adopting him, completing the paperwork and enduring months of patience. Maria remembers, “It was a lot of waiting and hoping.” Less than a year later, a little boy they named William Andrew joined their family. Shortly after the adoption was finalized, Maria’s husband underwent further testing, including an MRI, and was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. 

Two years later, the same doctor who had informed them about William Andrew contacted my grandparents with extraordinary news: the baby boy they had adopted had a biological sister. Bartus asked if they would be interested in adopting her as well. Despite Williams’s diagnosis, they were allowed to proceed with the adoption because Polish officials believed the siblings should remain together. They said yes, without hesitation. Maria expressed, “I didn’t know how else to describe it but as a miracle.” 

Several unlikely circumstances aligned to bring both children into their lives, making the timing feel even more meaningful. The year before, on Maria’s birthday, August 5, 1985, she had made a wish: to adopt a baby girl. Nine months later, that wish came true. That little girl would grow up to become my mother, Pamela Victoria.

Maria, Bill, William, and Pamela pose for a family picture.

As William’s multiple sclerosis progressed, his mobility became increasingly limited, and Maria was faced with the reality of becoming his primary caregiver. Around that time, William went on disability from Ford due to the progression of his illness, which made it impossible for him to continue working. At the same time, Maria was still working full-time at Ford, balancing the demands of her career with the growing needs at home. Determined to find a way to help him, she began studying massage therapy while continuing to work. She became a licensed massage therapist, managing her job, her studies, motherhood, and caregiving all at once. What began as a way to ease her husband’s pain gradually grew into another professional path, and in 2004, she opened her own massage therapy business.

After 30 years at Ford Motor Company, Maria retired in 2007 at the age of 54 and transitioned into practicing massage therapy full-time. However, retirement did not mean slowing down.

For many years after retirement, Maria and William divided their time between Michigan and Arizona. Eventually, they decided to sell their Michigan home and settle more permanently in Arizona, where they purchased two homes: one in Gold Canyon and another in Payson. It became a rhythm of their life for many years. William passed away in 2022, but the years spent traveling and building a life together in both places remain among Maria’s most cherished memories. 

Today, Maria is an avid hiker in Arizona and gathers with friends and family over games of Mexican Train dominoes, a testament to her energy, independence, and love of being surrounded by others.

My grandmother’s life reflects a remarkable journey. She began in a small farmhouse in Poland and eventually built a life in the United States, pursuing a career in engineering and raising a family. When I asked her what advice she would give to others, she did not hesitate:  “Don’t take no for an answer. Be brave. Test the waters.” Those are not just words to her; they are the choices she made again and again, from leaving her home country to building a career in a new place and continuing to create a full, active life even now. When I think about her hiking in the Arizona mountains or laughing over Mexican Train with family, I see what that mindset looks like in real life. It is not just about taking risks; it is about continuing to move forward, no matter your age or where you started. 

All photos courtesy of Maria Staab.