By A.V. Musick

Whether you know it or not, there are adults and children all around you who have experienced a significant loss. These children do not stand out in a crowd; they blend in like any other child, all while likely carrying a much greater emotional load than their peers surrounding them. 

“Grieve, heal, grow” is the mission of Comfort Zone Camp, a weekend camp in various locations all over the country designed to help children who have experienced the loss of someone close to them. Loss is something many people are fortunate enough not to experience until later in life; however, a study shows that 1 in 12 children in the United States will lose a parent or sibling before the age of 18. 

Comfort Zone Camp in Palmyra, Virginia, in September 2025.

Assistant Head of the Upper School Dr. Matt Togna and I have been involved in Comfort Zone Camp (CZC) for many years—since 2001 and 2014, respectively. I attended my first camp at age seven, eight months after my father unexpectedly passed away from an undiagnosed brain tumor. When Dr. Togna was 14 years old, his mom suddenly passed away from a brain aneurysm. Noticing our similarities, I sat down with Dr. Togna to discuss our experiences with CZC. Dr. Togna described this loss as a “fluke thing,” adding that it was a “sudden and life-changing” for him and his family. 

Nine months after the passing of his mother, Dr. Togna’s father learned about Comfort Zone from a friend and sent Dr. Togna to camp. Like many first-time campers, myself included, Dr. Togna went to camp “kind of kicking and screaming,” claiming, “I didn’t want to go.” Understandably, not many kids jump at the idea of a camp where you talk about your feelings. As Dr. Togna and I quickly learned after our first camp experience, CZC is way more than just sharing feelings; it’s actually a pleasant experience. 

As any volunteer can attest, seeing campers evolve over the weekend, from absolutely not wanting to attend to begging to come back the following year, is by far the best part of camp. Dr. Togna posed the question, “Who does want to come? It’s a really hard thing to have to go to [Comfort Zone].” He later made an analogy about failing a test: “failing a test; who wants to talk about that with their friends? No one. So you think about something big, like grief; really, no one wants to talk about that with their friends.” In our interview, Dr. Togna highlighted the struggle of getting kids, especially older ones, involved. 

Tyvek Fashion Show at the Williamsburg, Virginia CZC in April 2025.

Many older and new campers are often hesitant to attend camp because talking about feelings for a whole weekend does not sound appealing. What many campers don’t realize is that this is not the case. Dr. Togna described it best: “this isn’t the doom and gloom, ‘oh-woe-is-me’ kind of place. It’s the complete opposite.” Neither of us can stress it enough; letting kids be kids is emphasized at CZC. Whether it’s arts and crafts, playing sports during free time, bonfire, evening activities like musical chairs, or the Tyvek Fashion Show, there is no shortage of classic summer camp activities.

What Dr. Togna and I both realized after our first CZC experience is that we are not alone. Finding out that you are not alone is what seems to keep campers coming back time and time again. More often than not, they make new friends and don’t want to leave at the end of the weekend.

Every single volunteer has a story of what brought them to Comfort Zone, and every volunteer has a reason they continue to come back. For Dr. Togna, not only was it his own personal experience that prompted his continued participation with CZC, but it also was the role he played after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. At 16 years old, Dr. Togna and a bus full of volunteers headed up to New Jersey to hold a camp for children who were affected by the attacks.

At camp, every camper is paired one-to-one with a “big buddy” who guides them all weekend. Most big buddies are over 18, with occasional exceptions based on need. Dr. Togna’s first experience as a big buddy was to a young boy whose father worked for Cantor Fitzgerald, a finance company that lost 658 employees on September 11. 

Dr. Togna reflected on the “privilege” he had “to be a part of that,” and noticing that everybody had the exact same loss from a national tragedy was one of the most impactful moments he has experienced in his nearly 25 years with CZC.

Luminary bags light the way to Bonfire.

If you ever get the chance to talk to Dr. Togna, it is clear how much of an impact CZC has had on his life. Dr. Togna noted, “there’s always things that impact me about Comfort Zone; sometimes just talking about it—like right now—has an impact on me, because it’s something that means so much.” I can say from first-hand experience that CZC is so much more than a grief camp. It’s a place where friends come easily and kids learn to be kids again. 

There is no better place than Comfort Zone Camp for kids who have suffered loss to become themselves again. Dr. Togna and I are proof. According to Dr. Togna, camp really is “a fun place to be. Grief is a sad thing to experience, but one thing that camp does for them is tell them it’s okay to also be a kid and have fun.”

All photos courtesy of Comfort Zone Camp.