By Nico Zeballos

Photo courtesy of Better Youth Coaching.

In the last decade, there has been a growing rate of altercations, verbal and physical, between parents, coaches, referees, and even players at youth sporting events.  A 2017 survey by the National Association of Sports Officials showed that 13% of officials have reported being physically assaulted, 47% have worried about their safety, 64% have had to remove a spectator, and 57% had to intervene in player altercations. The numbers are only going up. An activity that is supposed to be an opportunity for kids to learn valuable lessons and create long-lasting friendships, youth sports have become a warzone for adults to lash out their frustrations excessively and inappropriately. With the rise in popularity of the billion-dollar industry, the stakes continue to get higher and higher in youth sports. From hurling insults to punches, the change in spectator behavior has raised concerns in the youth sports community.

Youth sports should be about developing as an athlete and, more importantly, as an individual through engaging physical activities. Sports are often a space for kids to experience the thrills of competition while being taught the core values in life. However, as more parents become involved in their children’s athletics, the line between support and over-involvement has become more and more vague. National Alliance for Youth Sports reported that one in four parents have admitted to being in a heated argument or situation during their child’s sporting event. 

I have played travel soccer for 10 years, and I will continue to play in college at Davidson College. An experience of mine that still sticks with me occurred in Rock Hill, South Carolina, during one of my ECNL soccer tournaments in spring 2024. We were winning 5-0 and attempting to “kill the game,” sports lingo for running the clock down. My teammate Nick Sarantakos, a junior at Walsingham Academy and High Point University commit for soccer, was dribbling down the sideline, taking valuable seconds off the clock. This game already had featured heated exchanges, as there had already been a scuffle earlier with the opposing team over a foul.

A defender on the opposing team put a body into Sarantakos, deflecting the ball out of bounds, off of Sarantakos. The defender then pushed Sarantakos into the fence, which went unnoticed by the referee. As the opposing team quickly threw the ball back in, my thoughts were interrupted by loud laughter. I looked over to see an opposing team parent, the father of the player who had pushed Sarantakos, laughing hysterically and tauntingly at Sarantakos. The college coaches on the sidelines whipped their heads in shock. I tried to signal the referee over, but it was to no avail. I ran over to the fence to aid Sarantakos as more words were exchanged. The opposing player’s father was hurling profane insults and threats that went along the lines of, “Come outside, I’ll be waiting for you in the parking lot.” 

The referee finally was able to get wind of the situation as the argument began to escalate. As we tried to bring Sarantakos back to his senses, the defender started getting in Sarantakos’ face as well, telling him, “Don’t you ever talk to our parents.” Teammate and fellow Cougar Reid Campbell (’26) and I started pushing the player away from Sarantakos as he continued to holler at our teammate. It wasn’t clear if the parent had made his way down from the stands or if he had been standing outside of the fence the whole time. The parent was asked by the referee to leave but didn’t do so without protest. The game had to be paused. It escalated to the point where Sarantakos’ own dad got into a verbal argument with the parent in the parking lot. His son had just been threatened by a man 30-40 years older. As the final whistle sounded, the 5-0 win sank in, but it was overshadowed by this altercation. Recounting the event, Sarantakos stated, “It occurs with every team in the league that parents yelling is just a part of the normal background, but I never had experienced anything like this.”

This scenario is all too common on fields and courts throughout the country. There have been many more experiences like this in my career, and for other student-athletes. In 2021, NAYS revealed that 64% of youth sports officials have considered quitting due to abuse from spectators and parents. 

Photo credit: Nico Zeballos.

While there always is an intense and exciting atmosphere at sporting events, the threatening tone of some parents and their willingness to get physical with young athletes and other parents has almost become ingrained into the sporting community. On March 29, during the youth street hockey Veterans Memorial Invitational Tournament in Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey, a game escalated into a brawl involving players, parents, and coaches. The confrontation started between the players, leading to parents entering the outdoor court. Three individuals were charged with simple assault and disorderly conduct. Both teams were suspended, with authorities expressing their concerns over the attempts of the players trying to break up their own parents from brawling.

Another event like this occurred in Virginia Beach at The North American Soccer Championships. This is often a place for club soccer players to form a team with their friends in a sand soccer tournament; I have played in it once. In June 2018, two under-14 teams were facing off, Richmond and Virginia Beach. As two players challenged each other for the ball near the sideline, a fight broke out between the two, and then a parent intervened. According to a report from WTKR News 3, Jordan Grinnell, 38 and a naval officer, proceeded to jump on the opposing team’s player, Timothy Vickerie, landing numerous punches. Vickerie could do nothing as Grinnell stayed on top, hurling more punches. Sharonda Vickerie, the mother of the injured player, explained to WTKR, “when I got to my son, he was bloody, his eye was swollen, and he was in a daze.” Vickerie suffered several scars and a concussion. Grinnell was sentenced to 60 days in jail. 

To fight this negative trend, numerous organizations are promoting efforts to encourage better behavior among spectators. The Positive Coaching Alliance has partnered with youth sports leagues across America to offer programs addressing how to handle competitive emotions and work on providing constructive feedback without resorting to aggression. The emphasis starts with the athletes, as the alliance believes that when the kids can start behaving with better sportsmanship, it will bleed over to the parents. 

The trend continues to be a growing concern that threatens possibly one of the greatest things children can be a part of—team athletics. While confrontations have been at an all-time high, sports organizations and leagues have taken extra steps and means to try and foster a safe playing environment.