- Buy the books; it’s not too late.
- Ask Mr. Loach if you could be excused from exams, “Just this once.”
- Transfer to Freeman until exams are over, then come on back.
- Don’t study; sleep is more important, studies show.
- Binge-watch Stranger Things so you have something to write about on your history exam.
- Before your hardest mid-term, test the fire extinguishers in Pitt—we gotta’ be safe.
- Volunteer to vacuum the family room, and surrender to a domestic accident; that will buy you a few days to study Greek.
- Get an appointment with your dentist—to play golf or something.
- Buy Hannukah gifts for all your atheist friends.
- Make crispy cookies for your teachers in exchange for As.
7.5. Ask that cool girl at Panera for help studying Botany.
8.25. Get tattoos of your teachers’ names in exchange for a B- on your final. Hey, you only live once!
∏. Get tattoos of their faces for As.
11.3. Go to an imaginary Caribbean island before it’s too late. (Global warming, y’all!)
9.9. Ask if you can choreograph a dance party for Lower Schoolers instead of writing all those pesky tests.
14.2. Give up!
Featured image via flickr user: ccarlstead.