Top Ten Ways To Ask Someone Else’s Date To Homecoming

10. Post-Advisory Empty Sugar Shack Box

9.5. Arrange the sausage on the Breakfast Pizza into “HC?”

9. Puns

8.5. Smoke Signals

8.45. Ask in Kindergarten through a time capsule

8.4. Ask your mom to do it (The Collegiate Way!)

8. Google Chat

7. Club Penguin

6. Webkinz

5.5. Arrange clumps of Trump’s hair into “HC?”

5.4. During the brand new 15 min. Flex Day break.

5.3. In a 1079-page epic post-modern novel.

5. Arson

3. Tattoo

2.8. Don’t (You’ve got your Introvert Club meeting).

2.6. Tap Dance a message in Braille

2.5. With a big cup of Enhanced Flavored Water

2. In Person

Photo: “Windsor Knot” by Urkel-os, via Wikimedia Commons

About the author

Sheldon has been writing for The Match since 2007. He is a perpetual senior, coming close to graduating a few times. In his free time, he enjoys watersports, such as chess and calculus.