MASS CHIPOTLE CLOSING SEND COLLEGIATE STUDENTS UNABLE TO FIND NOURISHMENT

By Madelyn Gee

A rumble is heard in the distance.

Is it a plane?

Is it an earthquake?

Is it Mr. Lengel’s hearty laughter?

That trembling noise you hear can be attributed to the dismayed bellies of those who have a very specific craving for a bean and steak infused burrito the size of a newborn child. But not just any variation upon the traditional Mexican dish; the delicacy must be crafted within the artistic fingers of everyone’s favorite Chipotle artisans.

However, much to the dismay of stomachs around the tristate area, the “authentic” proprietor of Mexican cuisine has been forced to shut its doors pending the five-centimeter Snowpocalypse, scheduled to rock the state of Virginia this afternoon. It’s abrupt closure has sent local teenagers into a spiraling world of unsatisfied hungering for chips and guac, black beans and rice, sofritas and cheese, and much more. In fact, the times have become so dire, that many individuals report instances of heading to “Quedoba” in a desperate attempt to placate the longing for a tinfoil wrapped creation.

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About the author

Sheldon has been writing for The Match since 2007. He is a perpetual senior, coming close to graduating a few times. In his free time, he enjoys watersports, such as chess and calculus.