Top Ten Things You Shouldn’t Say At Parent Conferences

10. Upon the advice of counsel, I will refuse to answer under my rights under the Fifth Amendment.

9. We’re not supposed to be talking about grades.

8. How Oedipal!

7. I just want a place to relax after Math.

8. Mom, you can’t smoke that in here. Regardless of your glaucoma.

5. It’s because of my twerking, isn’t it?

4. Harvard is my safety.

3. But I carried the flag in third grade. Doesn’t that count for something?

2. Do naps count as an extra-curricular activity?

1.5. Are you single?


About the author

Sheldon has been writing for The Match since 2007. He is a perpetual senior, coming close to graduating a few times. In his free time, he enjoys watersports, such as chess and calculus.