10. “Whose side did your family fight for in the War of Northern Aggression?” (Hint: There’s only one correct answer).

8.8. Is the new Pope too liberal?

7.5. Have you ever dropped the Thun-thun-thun?

9.86. Why is the boy in the cage?

7.7. Please fill this cup and give it to the nurse on your way out.

7.2. How sad is your day?

8. How do you feel about shoulders?

7.5. To beard or not to beard?

7.2. In your opinion, what does the fox say?

7. What’s your opinion on speed bumps?

6. Chicken Tenders every day, right?

5.5. What do you get when you mix a joke and a rhetorical question?

5.3. Knock knock.

5.2. Will you rattle the Big Dawg’s cage?

5. Leggings are totally pants. Discuss.

4.3. How do you think blue jeans distract from the learning environment?

4. Can we bring back the Senior Cocktail Lounge?

3. What is a vestibule?

2.2. Have you met Sticky-beard?

2. How do you celebrate yourself?

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

About the author

Sheldon has been writing for The Match since 2007. He is a perpetual senior, coming close to graduating a few times. In his free time, he enjoys watersports, such as chess and calculus.